When I saw Bri Stern’s posts about her relationship with Andrew Tate, I felt a familiar ache in my chest. Not just empathy, but recognition. The language, the manipulation, the fear—it echoed my own past. For years, I believed I was living freely. I was married to a prominent figure in the liberty movement. I believed in personal sovereignty. But behind closed doors, freedom was the last thing we had.
A Public Face, A Private Hell
The man I married was charismatic, respected, and outspoken about liberty and non-aggression. But in our home, his behavior told another story. He yelled in my face, broke things, and terrorized our children (and sometimes the pets 😭😭😭). He shoved them, “blocked” them with his forearm (claiming this wasn’t hitting), squeezed them too tightly, etc…. He called our son cruel names, and pushed him down in front of our peers. In fact, a lot of this happened in front of our community, who stayed relatively silent.
During the divorce, he continued his campaign of cruelty. His family turned on me when I asked them for help, and nearly were thrown out of the court room for making faces at me while I testified. He attempted to take away the children entirely, and for what? I am a great mom and he confusingly testified as such while also trying to take them. Our children, in family therapy, revealed that they hide what happens at his house to protect me from being punished. They knew that if I knew the truth, I would speak up—and that would bring more wrath.
Coercive Control in the Name of Freedom
Freedom movements often attract strong personalities—and unfortunately, some of them twist the language of liberty to justify control. “You are my property,” Bri Stern quoted Tate. I heard different words, but the same message: that I existed to serve, obey, and stay silent.
I gave a talk about coercive control within our so called “Liberty Movement” at Monerotopia last November. It is so important we are watching the actions of self proclaimed leaders, not merely listening to their words.
Once I’m able to get a quality transcript of my presentation, I’ll be posting that as my next blog post 🙂
All of this is really coming into the forefront at an interesting time. The Gabby Patino documentary was just publicized, and watching that was super triggering for me because I experienced a lot of anger from my ex while we were in the vehicle. It refreshed memories for me that I had completely forgotten about. Likely compartmentalized by my PTSD brain.
I Didn’t Know It Was Abuse
I didn’t think I was a victim. I thought I was strong, stubborn, and sovereign. It wasn’t until I found a bookmark at the Bastrop Library listing signs of domestic abuse that it clicked:
This was abuse.
Did you know?
1 in 5 Women and 1 in 7 Men have experienced severe physical violence from an intimate partner in their lifetime.
Warning signs of an abuser include but are not limited to:
- Extreme Jealousy
- Possessiveness
- Unpredictability
- Verbal Abuse
- Extremely Controlling Behavior
- Financial Control
Local and National Resources:
- Family Crisis Center: (512) 321-7760
- Texas Advocacy Project: (800) 374-4673
- National Domestic Violence Hotline: (800) 799-7233
In 2010, before we had children, I drew a picture of him screaming at me. I once jumped out of a moving car in DC to get away. That was over a decade ago, and yet I kept going back. I didn’t leave until one day in 2017 after asking for a separation repeatedly for 6 months, he threw a water bottle at my head and it missed by inches. I stood up and asked him calmly to leave. That was the day it was over for me. For many years I didn’t have the words. I do now.
Speaking Up, For Myself and Others
I share this not to relive trauma, but to stand in solidarity with others—like Bri Stern—who are speaking out. Especially when their abusers hide behind power, influence, and “freedom.”
Abuse can happen anywhere. It can happen to women who fight for liberty. It can happen behind the podium, behind the brand, behind the curated public persona. And it must be named, resisted, and healed from.
To anyone out there who is confused, scared, or unsure—trust your gut. Document everything. Speak up when you can. You are not alone.
Freedom doesn’t mean submission. Sovereignty doesn’t mean silence.
Transcript of Bri Stern’s Screenshots
1. Bri Stern @thebristern
“YOU ARE MY PROPERTY”
My name is Bri Stern. I’m from Los Angeles California. I met Andrew Tate in the summer of 2024 and we were in a relationship for almost a year.
2.
We met because he needed models for his crypto coin, and promised to help me to help save my crypto coin $SISTER. We spent as much time together as we could, but when we weren’t physically together, we were in communication all day, every day.
3.
He was my best friend. I stood by his side unwaveringly. We made plans to live together, first in Romania, and then in Miami once he traveled to America.
4.
He wanted to start a new life together once he arrived in the U.S. He wanted me to have his children and always told me we would be together forever. Andrew told me he loved me every day, and I was very much in love with him.
Despite the fact that he has hurt me so badly, I still love him. Maybe that is Stockholm syndrome – I don’t know.
Text exchange:
“i’m glad you texted me i was having anxiety”
“anxious little lady over here”
“You need to be hit”
“why 🥺 i don’t like it. what did i do”
“You deserve it”
“why?”
5. Chat from “Andrew new #”
“i want an update”
“what happens next”
“why r u being mean in other chat”
“because i want to beat the fuck out of you”
“you will give me a child this year bitch”
“why do u want to beat me”
“it’s 12:30 am i’m in the room i sleep soon”
“Whats the point in having you”
“if i dont beat you and impregnate you”
“You should be thankful”
6.
This wasn’t a joke or an internet façade. This was the reality of my boyfriend and my life, and I needed to take back control. “You are my property” echoed in my mind, and I knew that was not the future I wanted for myself or my future children.
It was not easy, but I gathered the courage to do what I had contemplated doing for a long time—leave him.
I grabbed my things and walked out – out of the hotel and out of our relationship.
That day even though I was terrified, I made a promise to myself that I would not go back no matter what he said, no matter what he did. I blocked his numbers, blocked him on all social media platforms, and on all communication apps.
7.
The last time I saw Andrew was on March 11, 2025 at the Beverly Hills Hotel. The last words he said to me before I left the hotel were:
“Shut the fuck up, bitch. You will never backtalk me. You are my property.”
Chat:
“if youre mine”
“why wouldnt i be able to hit you”
“ok”
“you scared me with what you said.”
“Are you scared of me”
“physical violence for me is a huge no. i don’t even like when you hit me during sex it scares me”
8.
Due to the events that had transpired in the early hours of that day, as well as his final degrading words, something just clicked; I finally recognized that someone who truly loved me wouldn’t say those things to me or hurt me repeatedly the way that he did. I think for the first time, I realized the gravity of the situation.
If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, please reach out. Help is available. Sovereignty begins at home—with safety, with dignity, with truth.
Peace, love and anarchy – Cat
